Science breakthrough: Geneticist discovers weird, parallel “anti-BBC”
In a hard-hitting report for the BBC Trust, a rather fat man whose main occupation is involved with the workings of very small things you can’t even pick up with tweezers, has revealed a parallel “anti-BBC”, which broadcasts exactly the opposite of what most licence-payers thought they have seen.
According to Dr Steven Jones, the fashionable neo-atheist Dawkins-squawker, the BBC has been guilty of broadcasting too much of what he calls “deniers” and “denialists” regarding man-made “global warming”. Many commenters picked upon that, while you could charge the BBC with an awful lot of nonsense, folly and just plain dogshit, denying the theory of man-made global warming would not be top of the list. Indeed, those programmes where it features “deniers” serve only to mock them, without engaging in any scientific arguments they may present. The president of the Royal Society, Sir Paul Nurse – another geneticist, curiously – often appears to front such programs. But Dr Jones has apparently discovered evidence of an anti-BBC parallel universe where the opposite happens.
Dr Jones’ report – which has not been peer-reviewed – was immediately lauded by noted web commentators. The well-respected and much-quoted mumsnet.com hailed it is “a landmark in the art of school fair fudge making”.
The BBC immediately announced the appointment of a “Czar” to ruthlessly root out and destroy the “anti-BBC”, smother heretical scientific debate at its new Salford headquarters and keep the poll tax-paying licence fee-payers in the traditional state of ignorance and abject poverty in which they were happy.
However, other scientists said they too had noticed the existence of a parallel “anti-BBC”. One said he was sure he saw Keeley Donovan winking rather knowingly while saying “The Met reckons this is going to be the hottest week of the decade”, while another claims she saw Sir David Attenborough exhorting BBC viewers to: “Go forth and multiply!”
NOTE: I’ve just thought of a good idea. Sir Paul Nurse is President of the Royal Society. One of the early presidents of the Royal Society was Sir Issac Newton – president 1703-1727. He is buried in Westminster Abbey. I suggest attaching a dynamo to his grave and linking it to the national grid. Then send out Sir Paul Nurse to open his ill-informed, fat mouth about science: any subject, any where, any time. I’m sure the spin occurring from that tomb would generate more electricity than any that comes from Chris “Bird-Murderer” Huhne’s windmills.