Home > first principles, journalism, Twitter > How to make a dead duck fly: A guide for the Media

How to make a dead duck fly: A guide for the Media

  1. Take a dead duck. (If not dead, make sure it’s half-strangled.)
  2. Throw in air, with all your might.
  3. Say: “Look, it flies!” Commentators will remark that duck “has legs”.
  4. Take potshot. Take all the potshots while you can. If you find your aim is wrong, bring in Max. He knows what to do  (cos you don’t).
  5. Sit back and enjoy while your mates and fellow travellers take potshots at duck.Think it strange that duck appears to fly backwards.
  6. Bask in glory while dead duck is carved up and dished out. Ignore fact that it seems to be all bone and feathers.
  7. Moan because you didn’t get your fair share of dead duck. Spit out feathers, bones etc.
  8. RSPCA Nazi-agents knock down your front door and invade your home (which legally they are allowed to do) because you have violated a dead duck’s “rights”.
  9. So when are visiting hours? I’ve got that Johann Hari  coming to intellectually profile me!
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  1. July 6, 2011 at 9:28 pm

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